I’ve noticed lately that the button on my new smartphone, the “REJECT CALL” button, is harder to activate than the green button that accepts the incoming projectile. They’re here to strip us to our last dime. They’re not here to make us wiser, wealthier or healthier. Henceforth, I will treat all online information forms like Ebola bacilli. The only shield we have is common sense, vigilance and experience. They rain down their trickery and subterfuge upon us like a hail of arrows. Their weapons of lies, exaggerations and slick tricks are armed and ready. Their armies sally forth to lay siege to our fragile world of shrinking incomes. The Internet has enabled an army of predatory sales-drones to gather in one mighty fortress. Now, listen here….we live in a world of slick cons, tricky subterfuges, hidden fees and marketing mendacity. The computer server that acts as uber-flypaper for naive insurance shoppers like me had relayed the fact that I was price-comparing automobile insurance. I had just pressed “SUBMIT” on the online form, and no more than half a second had passed. There was an insurance salesperson on the other end of the line. It was a caller from my own area code, so I answered. How could I be so stupid? I hadn’t even completed filling out the long-winded form when my new smartphone played its cheerful marimba melody. I guess I crumbled under the accumulating pressure of all those commercials, you know? The ones that tell you how much money you can save in less than fifteen seconds? We’re with AAA in my household and we’re not getting mugged.

What kind of car do you have? What make and model? What year? How many miles do you drive in a month? What’s your name? Date of birth? Etcetera, etcetera. I hesitated, but eventually I put aside my intuition and answered the questions. I knew I was setting myself up for trouble. Today, the question had its origin in making a rookie mistake while shopping online for car insurance. H ow could I be so stupid? It’s a question I ask myself with regularity.

By: Art Rosch ((Header Art is the work of the incomparable French artist OakOak.))įrustration mounts, in a life spent besieged by lies, exaggerations and slick tricks….

Kiss me thru the phone marimba